


Wisdom Comes to Those Who Seek the Land Behind the Sun

by whiteberryx



Series: amidst it all [1]
Category: The Fall (TV 2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, I have no idea what I'm doing, how this show should have gone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-30 21:56:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10885716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiteberryx/pseuds/whiteberryx
Summary: No one in Belfast seems to be immune to Stella Gibson, Dani included.





	1. S1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Mø's Freedom #1.
> 
> Huge thanks to beta and personal cheerleader dexstarr. This wouldn't have happened without you.

There was nothing wrong with playing a little table hockey while on meal break, but when Detective Superintendent Gibson from the Metropolitan Police entered the room, Dani felt like she was about to get sent to the principal’s office. There wasn’t anyone quite like Gibson in the PSNI, Dani had gathered, and nothing that the other woman was saying was dispelling the notion.

Gibson carried the authority of ten supervisors, it seemed. Dani felt obligated to offer her a lift, even though Stone did all the driving.

Later on, in the damp night, Dani would realize that there wasn’t anyone in Belfast like Gibson. Watching the steely blonde reel Olson in hook, line and sinker, it was quickly apparent that she wouldn’t be denied, no matter what her target was. When they left Stella at the Hilton, Dani’s mind was equally heavy with leaving Sarah Kay and speculating on just how ensnaring Gibson was. 

—

Dani had seen a lot while on patrol, but it had been exceptionally difficult to hold it together at Sarah Kay’s home. The way Gibson summoned her over, she wasn’t going to stop until she got everything she wanted out of Dani, and unfortunately, then some. On the drive to the hotel, she couldn’t shake the pointed stare from Gibson, nor the way she had been talked to. Gibson had a way with words, to extract exactly what she needed. Dani was left in the dust, holding on to the list of what she needed to fetch.

Dani was surprised that Gibson entrusted her to go through her things, but she figured it was easier to get her out of the way than having her in an anxious knot at the scene. Following the list when she got in, she picked up a well-worn black book and put it in the bag, followed by clothes and her toiletries bag. It was then that something in the bin caught her eye — a condom, used. Maybe two.

So Stella Gibson did get what she wanted, as it was presumably evidence of Olson being there. Dani shook her head and looked at herself in the mirror. _It could’ve been any man, you’ll never make DC if you assume_ , Dani thought, trying to stay focused on the problem at hand.

In the end, Dani figured that just the presence of evidence should be erased, so she flushed it away. 

—-

Later on, Dani found herself disclosing the entirety of her muck up to Gibson, and of course, her cool demeanor didn’t change one iota. Dani wasn’t sure what was more intimidating, Gibson’s unchanging expression or the fact that she could drink the on-site coffee without a grimace.

Dani fretted the rest of her shift, and the next day at the detachment. She had barely slept that night, too worried about what Gibson would do, and more importantly, what would happen to her. As she stared at the closed door of Gibson’s office, Dani knew that she had to take the plunge. She’d stared down strung-out petty thieves, alcoholic domestic abusers and every type of criminal in between, but this was more infinitely more daunting. There was no one to protect but herself, and right now, she had nothing to shield herself with.

Gibson continued on her usual modus operandi of extracting information with minimal questions, and Dani left the office dazed. She’d managed to collect herself before being a complete fool, which she supposed she could be grateful about. It had been difficult, though, being scrutinized by Gibson, ice and steel softened by her silk blouse and flawless hair.

It was only after Dani went back on shift that she realized that Gibson was the personification of fire and ice. Passionate and cold, alluring and poised. The woman was dedicated to her cause, though as far as Dani could see, the only causes were apprehending criminals and seducing men into her bed.

—

Dani had skipped her second coffee of the day, and now, at half three, she was regretting it.

When Gibson had approached her at the patrol lockers, she was sure she was in for it. Instead, Gibson had rewarded Dani, inviting — demanding — her presence on the task force. It seemed she was trusted after all.

Her efficiency and poker face left Dani unsettled, even though she had just been given, essentially, a reward. She was sure that Gibson’s personality made her an excellent investigator, but when it came to personal interaction, it made quite the impression. When Gibson had said she wouldn’t be getting any sleep, Dani had believed her wholly, and was now adjusting her caffeine intake so she could get a last night of rest.

Rest, however, was relative. Dani hadn’t been a great sleeper before joining the PSNI, and the varied shifts didn’t make it any better. Since Gibson had arrived, it’d been even harder. Constantly thinking about Gibson and her opinions had weighed on Dani, and now that she was on the task force, she was going to feel like she was under even more scrutiny.

It wasn’t difficult for Dani to get Gibson a time at the range, but the other ask, a pool, was something else entirely. There was the recreational one attached to the station, but Dani didn’t think Gibson would like that. Her appearance and mannerisms indicated that she’d probably prefer an experience that wasn’t defined by leering Irishmen teasing the women officers at the lap pool.

Sitting at her desk, Dani went on to Google Maps. She looked up the PSNI, then typed in ‘pool’ and clicked ‘nearby.’ A couple local recreation centres, but that wouldn’t be suitable, either.

Blinking to try and stimulate her brain snap back to attention, she tried to come up with another idea. Where else were there pools? 

She looked back at the listing. In between a few listings for pool halls — she should have been more specific — was a health club. Clicking over, she looked at the website and quickly realized that this was the only place in Belfast that was likely up to Gibson’s standards. Seeing the prices had her balking a little, but she had an idea. “Back in ten,” she called over her shoulder as she picked up her phone and jacket. She had a favour to call in.

—-

Three hours later, Dani managed to catch the superintendent in her makeshift office. Knocking on the door, Dani stepped in when summoned and shut the door. She approached the desk and dropped a white swipe card on a light blue lanyard on the desk.

“There’s a fitness club two blocks from here, ma’am. I’ve arranged for you to use their facilities. They close at 2200,” she said. Gibson didn’t give away anything in her face, but Dani had a feeling that she’d done a good job of satisfying her.

“Thank you, Dani.” Gibson looked back down at the sheaf of paperwork on her desk, but Dani thought she saw the ghost of a smile. 

“Have a good night, ma’am.” Though she owed one whopper of a favor to the front desk girl, Dani and her went way back. She was sure whatever she’d have to do — probably give her a couple lifts home at ungodly hours — was worth it. 

—

A couple of days later, Dani found herself scrolling through her contact list frantically. The confidence Gibson had in her was startling, and she now had to live up to the impression Gibson held. She’d just been about to beat the rest of the guys at HORSE on the roof, and now she was being put on a wild goose chase.

She messaged her old roommate, hoping that Siobahn still had the early shift at the chemist. _Are you awake?_ Dani tapped out, anxiously toweling off from her quick shower. If Siobahn wasn’t, she was going to have to go to Castlereagh and find another friend.

Her phone lit up. _Hey._ Dani rung her instead.

“This better be good, Ferrington.”

“Listen, got a favour for the boss. I know you have some stuff still at the flat, can I look through your nail polish?”

“Have at it,” Siobhan said. “Weird sort of favour, Dani.”

Dani sighed. “She just called, saying I’d think of something. I thought of you.”

A moment of silence, then a cackle. “She? Let me guess. Older blonde, hell of a rack.”

Dani caught sight of herself in the mirror as she zipped her hoodie back up. She was bright pink, and Siobhan wasn’t even here to tease her in person. “Shut up. I’ll buy you a pint later. Ring me when you’re around next week.” She clicked off the phone and took an unmarked back to her flat, hoping that her former roommate’s Superdrug obsession was going to pay off.

—-

The pride she’d felt at satisfying Gibson’s request had been quickly replaced by unease. What was it about Gibson that had her unable to hold her tongue? Maybe it was her deadpan delivery, her apparently diverse interests, or maybe it was the glimpse of long legs or the way the sunlight softened her features as they sat in her office. 

No matter what she did, she was powerless against the allure of the superintendent. Not after that sly smirk as she painted her nails, ever so fucking slowly and gracefully and God, did Dani have it bad. She knew Gibson had caught her, watching her paint her nails with more than mild interest. Despite being fully clothed, Dani felt naked in her chair, completely exposed to Gibson’s watchful eye.

Dani was looking at the photos on the wall again when a gunshot rang out. Alarmed, Dani trailed after Stella, who immediately sprang into action. As she hustled Eastwood’s secretary out of the room, Dani couldn’t help but be glad for a moment that Stella had been there.

—

Dani returned from evidence processing, having signed off on the last pieces from Annie Brawley’s house. It was late, and Dani was looking forward to getting a little sleep. 

Ducking back into the office, she saw light coming out from Gibson’s office. Both of them had escaped injury in the protest at the crime scene, for which Dani was grateful. Intending to say good night, Dani rapped her knuckles on the doorframe to let her know she was there. “I’ve just signed off on the last, ma’am. I’ll be back in the morning.”

Gibson was clearly not ready to pack it in, her desk still littered with files. Even at the late hour, her gaze was sharp, but Dani had gotten used to it, appreciated it, even. It was when she stared off into space that Dani worried; that meant she was quite deep in thought. “Get some rest, Dani.” She looked back down, dismissing Dani, but then seemed to change her mind. “Could you go to my hotel and pick up the two shirts that I had cleaned? You can bring them tomorrow.”

Dani nodded. She wasn’t far from the hotel, so it wasn’t any trouble. Besides, she wouldn’t be able to sleep for another hour, at least. She was still too keyed up from the scene. “Yes ma’am.” Gibson handed her the key, and she took it. “Make sure that cot gets some use, ma’am,” she said, unable to stop herself, before slipping out of the office.

—

Gibson’s room still looked the same as it had when Dani was here last. It seemed the cot got just as much use as the hotel bed, so what was the point of staying here? Dani almost caught herself speculating about Gibson’s sex life — more than she already had when she dumped the condoms — and resolved to leave before she could go any further down that path.

Before she could leave, there was a snick of the lock, and then Gibson was at the door. “Change your mind, ma’am?” Dani asked.

Gibson tilted her head. “In a way.” She dropped her coat on the back of the chair, and approached Dani. 

“Ma’am?” Dani questioned, now incredibly aware of just how close Gibson was. She was so close that Dani could smell her perfume, still somehow lingering on her skin after a sixteen hour day. Enduring, just like the woman who wore it.

“I need to … decompress.” Gibson was still in her heels, slightly taller than Dani, and it gave her the perfect angle to kiss her.

Dani inhaled sharply, completely frozen to the spot. Stella Fucking Gibson was _kissing_ her, kissing _her_ and she had no idea what the fuck to do.

Gibson must have sensed her complete lack of response, and pulled back. “Or you don’t need to?” she said, aloof, like she had simply asked Dani for the time and not kissed her.

“Me, ma’am?” she said, cringing at the squeak in her voice. There was no way a woman like Gibson would be after a girl like Dani.

“Stella,” Gibson — Stella — said, practically purring. “You can leave, if you want.” She gave Dani a look, one that seemed to bore down to her soul, and it confirmed what Dani already knew for weeks — she wanted to know more about her. 

“Stella, I…”

Stella smiled, and Dani knew she was caught. It had been too easy for Stella to roll off her tongue. “You’ve met a woman between then and now?” she questioned. They both knew the answer to the question. Dani gave a short exhale out her nose in response.

“Then?”

She’d never get this chance again. She’d gone against her instincts once, and it cost Sarah Kay. “Yes,” she said softly, reaching out and pulling Stella close to her. 

Stella leaned in to kiss her again, angling her towards the bed. It didn’t take long for Dani’s jacket and shirt to end up on the floor, and she had to catch up. She tried to take her time unbuttoning Stella’s blouse, but with Stella’s mouth hot on her neck and legs straddling her hips, it was difficult. 

It didn’t surprise Dani how forward Stella was — she’d seen her with Olson — but being on the receiving end of her attention made her feel like she was drowning. Stella was everywhere, mouth and hands quickly cataloging every inch of Dani’s front, and it was getting increasingly difficult to shed any clothing off of her.

“Why me?” she panted out, finally managing the last button on Stella’s blouse. She went to push it off her shoulders, but Stella stopped her. It was at that moment that Stella successfully got her bra unhooked and shoved it aside, mouth hot on her nipple and Dani moaned, unable to follow up on her own question, nor attempt at disrobing Stella again.

“I know you,” Stella said, voice thick. She pulled the bra away and cast it off the side of the bed, mouth settling on the other breast now. “I trust you,” she added, before trailing down Dani’s sternum, open mouth kisses along the way. “And I want you.” Stella paused, eliciting a quiet whimper from Dani, and when she looked down, Dani saw a smirk that she knew she’d never be able to forget.

“A navel piercing, Dani?” she asked, tongue flicking out to play with it briefly.

“Blame the Spice Girls,” Dani answered, rolling her eyes.

Stella let out a small chuckle — another thing Dani would never forget, and it would be hers and hers alone to remember — before sliding south to take off Dani’s pants and underwear in one swoop. It left her completely naked, and Stella in her open blouse, skirt and bra. Before she could get too far, Dani tugged at the zipper anxiously, sliding the pencil skirt down her hips. It was snug, Dani recalling one — or a few — times when she’d stared an extra half-second, but rolling it down her legs and off the bed was a moment that Dani wanted to make last forever.

Stella slid her legs apart, kissing up each thigh before lingering at the apex of her legs. Dani could still scarcely believe this was happening, but if she didn’t start believing it, she’d never enjoy it. Gripping the sheets, all she could do was hang on as Stella began to gorge on her, fucking her with her tongue before teasing her clit. It was tortuously wonderful, and Dani dimly thought that Stella was wasting her time with men with a mouth like hers.

Far too soon, Dani felt the familiar heat of an orgasm building. Stella somehow knew exactly where and when to flick, lick or suck, and it was paying off. She looked down and locked eyes with Stella, the blue of her irises almost completely eclipsed by darkness. The gaze alone was enough to push her off edge entirely, lightning running through every nerve.

A long moment passed, and Dani peeled herself off the sheets to sit up and look at Stella. Her mouth was wet and her eyes were still hungry, craving more, and the image was seared into Dani’s mind. “Fuck,” was all she could muster. 

Stella made a sound of agreement, then lifted her hand to wipe the back of her mouth. Dani caught her wrist and guided it away. Pulling Stella to her for a long kiss, tasting herself, Dani maneuvered them so that Stella was on her back. When she pulled back, she saw the crease between Stella’s brows, a slight frown on her face.

“Would you like me to stop?”

Stella’s expression was thoughtful, as if she was seeing Dani for the first time. Any sharpness from her scrutiny was blurred by the haze of sex, hanging around them. Without a response, Dani was reluctant to continue, but she felt compelled to present a persuasive case.

Dani descended lower, her lips on Stella’s neck, then down her sternum. She mapped the planes of her torso, memorizing the planes of a body sculpted by exercise. Her mouth lingered on the curve on one breast, tongue trailing where lace met skin, before moving towards the other side. 

“Dani,” Stella groaned. A warning or a plea, Dani wasn’t sure. Then, “Keep going.”

Now with permission, Dani felt freed. “I want you,” Dani replied, echoing Stella’s words. “I trust you.” She slid Stella’s underwear down, not missing the quick kick of her ankle to cast them to the side entirely. “And I know you.” The last one was a bit of a lie — Stella Gibson was a mystery encased in silk and leather and frost — but Dani had a feeling that she’d seen more sides to Stella Gibson than most in the PSNI. The hard nosed investigator, the deep thinking anthropologist, the calculating seductress, it was all Stella, and Dani felt lucky to know her as a sum of all things.

She looked back up at Stella, her gaze now screaming something else. Desire. “This might just be a sweet night,” she continued, hands sliding up Stella’s thighs towards her center, “but I’m going to enjoy every moment.” Dani slid two fingers along her slit easily; Stella was dripping. It was even easier to push them in, giving her slow, steady thrusts.

Stella’s mouth was reduced to a thin line as she exhaled hard. Dani sped up her hand a bit, having a hunch that she would need a little more than that to make her come. Like everything else Dani did for Stella, she wanted to make her proud, to impress upon her that she could ask her for anything, and that she would deliver. She twisted her wrist around so she could rub at her clit as well, lazy patterns that matched the rhythm of her thrusts.

Stella white-knuckled the sheets, legs coming up to wrap around Dani’s waist. Dani moved so she was hovering over Stella now, mouth lavishing attention on her neck and breasts without leaving marks. “You feel so good,” Dani murmured. She added a third finger and sped up her pace, now wanting to make Stella come apart under her.

It wasn’t more than few moments later than Stella hissed and swore as she came, arching up into Dani’s body. Dani kept going until she fell back, swatting at her shoulder to stop her. Though she knew it’d be teasing, she couldn’t resist cleaning her fingers off with her tongue. 

Dani leaned down to kiss Stella, to share her taste. Stella seemed to have something else in mind, sliding her tongue into Dani’s mouth as she rolled them over. “You’ve had your fun, but I’m not done yet,” she said as they parted, fingers deftly slipping between Dani’s thighs. 

—

Dani woke up at five, far too early for the time they had finally exhausted. Stella, unsurprisingly, was relentless, pushing Dani to limits she’d barely dreamed of. Stretching under the sheets and feeling the pleasant ache in every muscle, she turned her head to see Stella awake, scribbling in the well-worn black notebook, and Dani wondered if she ever slept.

“Morning,” Dani said softly, on the off chance Stella didn’t notice she was up. 

“Morning,” Stella returned, shutting the book and putting it on the nightstand. “Coffee?” she made to pick up the phone, like it was the most normal thing in the world to wake up to your subordinate in bed.

“I should get going,” Dani said, slipping out of the bed to the washroom. Stella nodded, though Dani wasn’t sure if she was agreeing with her or just acknowledging her words. 

When she emerged, Stella was in her silk robe, hanging up the phone. Dani found the rest of her clothes, pushed her hair back with a hairband from her pocket, and hovered at the door awkwardly for a moment. It wasn’t as if she’d never had a one night stand before, but she’d never had one with her boss.

“See you, then,” she settled on saying, shrugging her jacket on.

Stella nodded again. Dani left, making sure that the ‘do not disturb’ sign was still on the handle.


	2. S2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reads, comments and kudos. One down, two to go...

They’d fucked a few times since the first night, their sweet night stretching into several. Every time, Dani left aching to see more what was just under the surface. There was so much more to Stella, Dani was sure of it, and though it was nothing for them but an escape from real life, it didn’t stop Dani from wanting to know.

Dani stayed over one night, Stella wringing her out to the point of exhaustion. In the dim light of pre-dusk, she realized she’d caught Stella sleeping. Stella would be up soon — she had a tendency of running off a dangerously low amount of sleep. Dani figured that physical proximity while sleeping was as close to intimate as Stella dared to go with most.

Though she knew Stella was aloof by nature, Dani had to wonder if it was partially borne from the fact they were in each other’s space the majority of the day. At the precinct, in Stella’s bed more often than not. Maybe being so close to her so often was suffocating for Stella. 

Sliding out of bed quietly, Dani found her clothes scattered about the seating area and got dressed before checking her hair and slipping out of the room without waking Stella. When she got into the precinct that day, she’d put her request in to go back to being on patrol.

—

She didn’t see Stella until the older woman was finished her press conference. Finding her in the ladies’, it was difficult to summon the courage to talk to her, even though the paperwork for her request was already completely filled out and sitting on her desk in the operation room. Stella’s uniform was terribly distracting, though mostly it was because she was remembering the other night when she held onto the epaulets for dear life as Stella fucked her with three fingers, pushing Dani to the point of almost passing out.

When Dani left, it hadn’t escaped her that they could only look at each other in the reflection of the mirror. Stella had somehow managed to be enticing while being self-deprecating, and it had taken all of Dani’s resolve to leave the room without telling her that she’d changed her mind. She couldn’t tell if Stella was being sincerely vulnerable or not, but either way, it got under Dani’s skin enough that she knew it would be better if she stayed away.

Stella’s version of praise echoed in her head for most of the day, and Dani almost regretted being so forward. Maybe Stella hadn’t wanted the space like Dani had originally speculated. Stella barely said hello to anyone in the office before she got down to business. At every opportunity, communication was done at arm’s length. For Stella to think that highly of Dani, and to place her trust in her, not only in work, but beyond, it was flattering. Dani had to stand up for herself, though, for what she thought was right. What the right thing would be, for both of them, was if she put some distance and left the investigation.

Dani wasn’t lying about why she wanted to move on. Being on the team had shown her another side of investigation that she normally wouldn’t have seen for months. She knew what the investigative team did, but to be on it was something else entirely. Still a few months away from her application to promotion, she was extremely privileged to get a preview. 

When it came down to it, though, Dani felt that she had let her professionalism take a backseat for far too long. She had to ask to leave, and though Stella let her go, Dani wondered if she was just giving in.

—

It didn’t take long before Stella was calling on her again. _Half ten_ , was all she wrote in her message. Weak, Dani couldn’t resist, like a sailor being lured by a siren to wreck at sea.

When Dani came to the door, Stella was obviously agitated. Despite the glass of whiskey in her hand, Dani thought she smelled tequila on her. “Rough day?” she asked, sitting on the couch while Stella sat on the chair. She was still in her outfit from earlier in the day, a long blazer and high waisted pants, and Dani wondered why she had left the precinct so early only to stay in her work clothes.

“Something like that.” Stella downed what was left in the glass. “A drink, Dani?”

“No thank you, ma’am.”

“Stella.” The blonde looked at her, eyes glassy from the alcohol, lips slightly pursed. Dani knew, knew why she was here, why she would be forever tempted by Stella Gibson.

Stella put down the tumbler and tugged Dani up, shedding her clothes along the way with her face buried in her neck, teeth and tongue making sure that the younger woman would be putty in her hands. It didn’t take much, really, and Dani was more than ready for Stella by the time her back hit the bathroom door.

Stella didn’t bother with finesse, stripping her own clothes off as soon as she finished undressing Dani. Dani started the shower and Stella practically pushed her in. The tiled wall was cool against her back, but any discomfort was quickly forgotten when Stella’s fingers slid between her legs.

Dani tried to turn the tables, but Stella was insistent, not budging until their legs threatened to give out. Dani was about to make a comment when Stella covered her mouth with her own, tongue parting her lips before plunging in. For as drunk as she tasted, Stella was still quite coordinated, and Dani felt powerless to stop her as she worked on possessing her again, working them out of the shower to the door once more.

—

Managing to slip back to her own flat around three, Dani skipped the bed for now and headed straight for the shower, the hot water stinging her back. She pulled the curtain aside and was surprised to see angry streaks running down from her shoulders to her hips. The one time Stella had let up earlier, Dani had taken full advantage, but it looked to her like Stella had still come out ahead. Maybe she always would. 

Dani managed a few hours of sleep before rolling into the precinct a bit before 9. Stone was there with her usual coffee, but also a bit of gossip as well.

“Did you hear about Gibson?” he asked quietly, making sure that none of the other constables who were getting assignments for the day heard him.

Dani’s blood ran cold. What about Stella? She’d just left her earlier, wrung out from hours of fucking. “No,” she said, afraid of what she’d hear next.

“Apparently she and Professor Smith were going at it in the bar last night,” he said.

“Fighting?” Dani tried to clarify, even though she had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that that wasn’t it.

“Kissing,” Stone answered, a crooked grin appearing on his face. No doubt the choice masculine fantasy for many, two beautiful women making out. The thought made her stomach churn, bile threatening to rise. Last night it had been her under Stella, Stella making Dani come apart seemingly at her will, over and over.

“You’re full of it,” Dani croaked.

Stone continued, oblivious to the strain Dani was under. “Not a chance.”

Dani handed Stone her coffee. “Pit stop. Meet you at the front in five.” She rushed to the loo, and while she didn’t throw up like she thought she would, the sick feeling stayed with her all day. 

—

It was bad enough to hear about Stella and Professor Reed Smith, but the feeling was insignificant compared to realizing that the sick fuck was in Stella’s hotel room. Dani couldn’t help but speculate. Was he there while they were fucking in the shower? What did he do? What did he want to do and didn’t get a chance to do?

Dani studiously avoided all contact with Stella, putting in extra time in the precinct gym or busying herself with paperwork every time she thought she heard the click of heels. Anything to give her some separation between herself, Stella and that night. With Stella sleeping almost exclusively at the precinct now, it was harder to evade her, but Dani managed. She couldn’t afford to give in again, no matter how badly she wanted her. 

—

Stella texted her again a couple nights later, asking where she was, but Dani didn’t reply. Now that she was on patrol, she had a little more free time, and she was choosing to spend it alone in the bar that night. She’d probably have hell to pay tomorrow, especially since she had early shift again, but the ghost of Stella still hung over her. Fucking Stella and her fucking amazing body and her fucking seductive ways, and just fuck. The worry had given way to angst, and now she was paying the price. Literally, as she’d resorted to getting drunk alone at the bar to try and ease the weight on her mind.

She was so distracted, she didn’t notice the stool next to her was now occupied. “Gin and tonic,” a familiar voice ordered.

Dani turned, hoping she didn’t look as ragged as she felt. “McNally,” she said.

“Ferrington. You look like shit,” Gail said. “I know patrol’s a grind of its own, but it was the quietest day in the city in ages.”

“Thank you. Can always count on you to brighten my day.” They’d come up through the academy together, and were decent friends. Gail had chosen to work with a task force unit as a fresh graduate, fast tracking her way into a promotion, but they’d managed to keep in touch, more or less. Now, with Gail also on Operation Musicman, they saw each other a little more often.

“Ah, there’s the woman that glued my locker shut the last day of first year,” Gail said wryly, clinking her full glass with the empty one.

“I had a replacement lock ready for you!” Dani protested, managing a smile despite what was going on inside.

Gail just rolled her eyes. “Enough. Are you going to explain why you’re here instead of catching some shut eye, because you haven’t got a decent sleep in weeks?”

Dani thought for a moment, and was unsuccessful in piecing together a story she could give Gail that was close enough to the truth. “No.” She instead gestured to the barkeep, and he nodded as he pulled her next Guinness.

“How many have you had?” Gail asked.

Dani thought for a moment. “Three or four. I’ve been here a bit.”

“I’m taking you home after this. Gibson will have your head if you show up hungover,” Gail said, taking a sip of her drink.

The mention of Stella had Dani’s insides churning again. “I don’t even work on the operation anymore. Why’s she going to be mad?”

“She still knows when you’re on shift. She was right mad after you went back to patrol. Don’t think Glen talked to her for a week,” Gail said. “Scared the shit out of him.”

Dani shrugged, trying to ignore the first part of Gail’s answer. “Doesn’t help that he tries to tell her how nice she looks every time she’s within a metre.”

Gail laughed and finished her drink, making her own motion for one more. The bartender brought it with Dani’s pint. “I can’t imagine the ice queen missing anyone, but she might miss you.”

Dani tried to laugh, but it sounded hollow to her ears. Stella wasn’t an ice queen, and she likely didn’t miss her, either. “I just can’t shake it. That fucker, in her hotel room,” she said instead. “She’d been sleeping at the station half the time, it’s almost like he knew.”

Gail stirred her drink, shuddering. “We’ll get him. He’s close.”

“Literally,” Dani said, voice grim. She took a long gulp of her beer. She didn’t want to think about it anymore; the creep could have been there while they were in the shower. She was loathe to think of what might have happened if they had done anything differently that night, like if they had gone to the bed first.

Sighing, Gail didn’t say anything else as she sipped her drink. 

—

Dani managed to wake up on time and pop a couple ibuprofen with an extra-large coffee the next morning, and when she got into the station, she felt almost like herself. She hadn’t had too much beer, thanks to Gail, but she hadn’t eaten when she got home, and she felt like she was going through first year Academy all over again. She grabbed breakfast on the way to work, knowing that starting her shift without food would be the first step towards disaster.

Any cobwebs lingering were quickly wiped away as Stone intercepted her in front of the building. “He’s on the move,” was all he said, and Dani turned with him to make a break for the patrol car. Thankful she wasn’t driving, Dani used the rote task of checking in with dispatch to try and soothe her nerves, to refocus her energy. There was no telling what the day would bring now, that was for sure. 

—

She didn’t even have time to see who was in the lot before the sound of gunfire rang out. Dani dropped her phone, feeling the impact of the bullet in her flak jacket. She slumped down, unable to take a breath. Stella’s voice was increasingly more agitated, trying to get back into contact, but Dani couldn’t reach her phone.

There were too many shots for a clean scene, Dani realized faintly, trying to suck air. She swore as she pulled herself up just in time to see Stone wrestle with one of the men before he took off with his gun. Dani stumbled out the car, trying to get a shot off at the van, but she couldn’t get set.

Dani could barely answer Stone and keep Spector on the ground, much less deal with Stella, frantic through the phone. Trying to steel herself with a gasp, she found her handset on the seat. It was hard to stay focused on the scene in front with every breath taking fivefold the effort. 

With sirens in the distance, Dani pawed at her jacket, eventually loosening the pressure on her chest. Briefing the officers on the situation, Dani just wanted to sink to the asphalt and try to regain her composure, but Stella’s voice was still blaring from the handset, and like always, Dani responded.

—

Dani didn’t bother with the hospital, instead opting for a self-examination in the ladies’. The bruise on her midsection had already bloomed something awful, red and purple and yellow swirling to make an ugly mark on otherwise porcelain skin. She stood in her bra and jeans, ready to finish changing and go home, when the door opened and Stella appeared.

“Oh, Dani,” she said softly. 

“It’s fine,” Dani said, but she winced as she reached for her t-shirt.

“It’s not,” Stella responded. She walked over and picked the shirt up. “Easy,” she murmured, helping Dani into her clothes. The situation wasn’t lost on Dani, that the woman who had spent so much of her time stripping off her clothes previously was now helping her put them on. They hadn’t been this close in days.

“I was afraid,” Stella continued as she found Dani’s jacket and helped her into that as well.

They were still in front of the mirror, and Dani gave Stella a look in the reflection.

“We both know what’s at risk during patrol,” Stella continued. “To hear it though…”

Dani wasn’t sure what to say. “Stella…” the name hadn’t crossed her lips her for days, and it seemed almost foreign. Comfortable and unfamiliar.

“You should get it checked out.” Back to the no-nonsense Stella, that Dani wasn’t sure if it was a front or not.

“It’ll be fine in a couple days. Really.”

—

Dani sat outside of Eastwood’s office, shifting uncomfortably in the plastic chair. Her hands were still shaking, and needing something to fidget with, she reached for her flak jacket. She froze when she realized she had discarded it already in the locker room. Her palms were clammy, so she settled for wiping them against her pants.

This wasn’t the first time she’d shot her weapon in the line of duty, but it was the first time she’d killed a man. She’d seen the gun and shot, her focus blurring between then and her attempt to shoot James Tyler before. 

She wasn’t going to miss this time.

“PC Ferrington.” Eastwood poked his head out of his office.

She stood. “Sir.”

The sound of heels clicking drew her attention away, and for a wild moment, she thought it’d be Stella, coming to save her, tell Eastwood it was justified, sweep her away and let her rest.

It was her union representative instead. Not quite the saviour she had been hoping for.


	3. S3

The first time they saw each other after the debacle in the forest was right after Dani’s panel review. She was relieved to find out that she was only suspended from front-line duty, and not full duty, though having only front desk shifts and filing projects wasn’t appealing either. 

Dani was surprised that Stella invited her back, but she couldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Even as she accepted the offer, she resolved to be more careful around Stella. That didn’t stop her from watching Stella as she ascended the stairs, though. Stella was like the sun, drawing people into her orbit, revolving around her. Dani hoped she wouldn’t get close, otherwise she’d probably get burned again.

—

Her vow to be careful didn’t last long. Dani was the last one at the office one night, trying to catch up on what she missed when she was on patrol, when Stella came in. She’d been at the hospital with Rose Stagg, probably. The lines in her face seemed deeper, a mix of stress and sleeplessness that had the Dani of a few weeks ago concerned.

“Ma’am.” Dani poked her head in. Stella already had her coat off, bag open and files out. She wasn’t going to the hotel tonight. 

“Dani.” In the daylight or dark, Stella always said her name the same way. It crawled under Dani’s skin and settled, making her feel both comforted by its familiarity and nervous at how easy it was.

“I’ll be heading out. Is there anything I can get for you?” An inquiry she’d said a few dozen times, at least, but almost everything sounded different to her ears now that she was back on the taskforce. Shooting James Tyler hadn’t changed her nearly as much as sleeping with Stella had.

Stella paused, then shook her head. “No.”

Dani turned to leave, but Stella called her name again. When she turned back around, Stella had that half-smile on her face that made Dani’s stomach flip. “Thank you for coming back.”

Dani nodded, unable to say anything else. There was a good chance she would regret whatever came out of her mouth. Taking her jacket from the back of her chair, she turned off the rest of the lights, save one, just in case. Stella’s door remained open, and in the quiet, Dani heard her pen scratch. She locked the door on her way out.

—

Another day passed, and Stella returned back to the office late, again. Dani was just where she was before, the last person in.

“Are you staying, ma’am?” Dani asked, popping her head in. 

Stella unloaded papers from her bag to the desk. She looked wan, not as composed as usual. She glanced up at Dani. “Yes,” she said, then she winced. “No. I need to eat.”

Dani was about to offer to go out and run her something before heading home, but Stella continued on. “Will you come with me?” 

Dani nodded — she could never deny Stella anything. Stella pulled a couple more folders out before zipping her bag shut. “Come along, then.”

—

Stella decided on room service, and Dani got the pleasure of watching her eat her cheeseburger with a glass of wine and gusto. She sat across from Stella, still mindful to not be too close, but it was hard. Now that they were the only two in the room, in much closer quarters, Dani knew that it was inevitable they’d be going to bed together that night.

It was as if Stella could read her mind. In truth, Dani’s body language was probably that of a gazelle who’d just spotted a hunter. “You know why you’re here, yes?”

Dani swallowed, nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Stella.”

“Stella,” Dani repeated, and this was a repeat in itself of weeks ago. She could have done her part to stop the cycle, to leave, but Stella always made her want to stay, without a demand, nor even a word. She shouldn’t, but when it came to Stella, Dani was weak.

Stella was simply Stella, intriguing and alluring and something that Dani knew little about. All she had learned so far was that as soon as she thought she got somewhere, Stella was leading her down another path, making sure she never got close enough to find out. Yet, Dani tried every time anyways, not because she thought she could solve the mystery, but because she simply wanted more.

Dani waited for Stella to finish her wine. When Stella stood, Dani did as well. Stella reached for Dani’s belt loop and guided her to the bed, undressing her with a disarming amount of care. 

“I’m not going to break,” Dani murmured.

Stella smiled, the same phantom smile that Dani had seen when they talked in her office about sweet nights and nail polish, and continued her sedate pace.

—

A day later, Dani was in line at Paperchase, buying a new planner, when a table of notebooks on the other side of the barrier caught her eye. Black leather cover, plain, with thick stock that wouldn’t let any ink bleed through. She knew Stella’s journal was in the basement of the precinct, still being pored over by the forensics team, and something tugged inside her. Out of respect for the other woman, Dani had only looked at it when necessary, and the only page she had read was Spector’s message. She knew how much it meant to Stella — it had been the first item on her list, weeks ago when she first visited Stella’s hotel room.

Trying not to read too much into her impulse, she picked up the one that she figured was of most similar size, and added it to her purchase.

—

Stella was in the shower when Dani decided it was time to go. She took the notebook out of her bag; it still had the tag on. She could chicken out and not give it to Stella — the receipt was on her desk at home.

The shower stretched longer than Dani expected, but she figured that with all the sleeping at the office, Stella had lacked a real shower. The new office had a decent enough locker room, but it probably didn’t hold a candle to the Hilton.

Dani put the book on Stella’s pillow, where she was sure Stella would see it. With all the strange gifts and mementos left for her as of late, though, Dani needed to make sure that she knew the book was from her, even though there wasn’t another logical solution.

She might have been brave enough to go where no other in Belfast had seemed to go yet — to Stella’s bed, and repeatedly — but she couldn’t find it in her to give her such a personal gift. There was a line, and this had the potential to cross it.

Settling on a short message, Dani ripped the paper of the the pad, then slipped on her coat. 

_Better than any hotel notepad, I’m sure  
-D_

—

Dani was usually one of the last ones at the task force office every evening. The next few nights she brought Stella and her dry cleaning. Stella didn’t ignore her, but she didn’t talk to her either. She was consumed in the case, drowning it seemed to Dani, but Dani didn’t blame her one bit. They all wanted this case to end the right way, but Stella’s determination was unparalleled. 

Dani didn’t know how to be there for Stella, so she continued to serve her as always. Loyally, with diligence and respect. There was nothing more to be done except to make sure that every detail was tied up neatly. She knew it was her duty, but whether it was her desire to help or for Stella, Dani wasn’t sure.

It was only when Dani found herself on a plane with Anderson to London that she realized that she needed the physical separation from Stella more than anything. Though her eyes were on case files, her mind was on Stella. Their bond was complicated, a blend of admiration, respect and lust — and that was only how Dani saw it. She knew that Stella had only provided her physical release and a hell of a footnote for her CV, but that didn’t stop Dani from thinking about her.

By the end, Dani was relieved that the trip to London was fruitful. She was relieved that Anderson did all the talking with Stella, even though she was sure he slept with her, too. Stella drew everyone in easily. Olson, Anderson, Professor Smith, and Dani wasn’t sure if that was even the entire list, not including her. She tried to write in her new journal while Anderson murmured through the wall, but the smell of fresh paper made her wonder if Stella was using her gift or not.

—

The news travelled fast. Dani was tied to her desk from dawn to dusk, working feverishly at making sure every single piece of information was in order, but her mind was with Stella. Stella, who even after getting punched in the face by Spector was still unwavering in her dedication. She was wholly consumed, justice so close Dani was sure Stella felt she could almost taste it. 

Despite having to stay overnight for observation, to make sure she wasn’t concussed — Dani tried not to speculate how having a brain injury could completely throw the case topsy turvy — Stella still soldiered on doggedly. Dani had to admire her drive from afar. 

London had given her the clean break she needed, mentally. Stella weighed on her because she was hurt, not because they laid together some nights a week to try to ease their shared pressures. They would always have those moments, but they were only memories now.

—

Stella didn’t get the closure they all sought. Dani didn’t know if she’d ever felt so heartbroken before.

—

Stella left the office immediately after Burns finished his news conference.

Dani was late at the office again, and she knew she’d be the last. Stella’s office remained dark. There was no need for her to reappear.

Dutifully, Dani collected a few personal effects — her spare pen, extra phone battery, a pot of lip balm — and made her way to The Merchant.

Even in the dim light of the hotel hallway, Dani saw the scrapes and scars from her encounter. Stella had done a decent job covering it up at the office, but they were still visible.

“Dani,” Stella said quietly.

“Ma’am,” Dani returned. Stella stepped back, letting her enter. Dani quietly put the paper bag on the coffee table. Stella was obviously in the middle of packing, her bags open on the couch, mostly full. There was a tumbler of scotch on the bedside table, along with the notebook Dani had bought for her.

They were silent for a beat too long, and Dani felt like she was intruding. “I don’t want to overstay. Just wanted to make sure you had everything from the office.” 

Stella nodded. Dani turned to go, but a hand around her wrist stopped her. When she turned, she’d never seen Stella look more vulnerable. With her soft eyes and firm grip, Stella compelled Dani to stand in place as she leaned up for a slow kiss.

“Once more,” she murmured. Nothing else needed to be said. Dani nodded and the two began their finale, clothes shed slowly while they guided each other to the bed.

Stella didn’t stop her when Dani pushed away her shirt, tugged at her pants. Stella had controlled both of their actions most of the time, but neither Dani nor Stella could stop. 

It was slow, not in the way that Dani was used to, where Stella stretched out time at will and left Dani at her mercy, but in the way that they both knew that this was truly final. They re-learned the position of every freckle, every scar. Dani was careful around Stella’s eye and jaw, but Stella lavished attention on the spot where she got shot, even though there was no evidence visible to the naked eye.

Dani ended up underneath Stella, fucking her as she rested on top of her lap. Everything around her was Stella — her scent, her arousal, wet and hot around her fingers. She thrust with deliberate pace, Stella’s hips following every movement. 

When Dani made Stella come, lit from behind by the lamp and city glow outside, she kept her eyes open, committing the moment to memory. No other time had Stella been more open, more exposed, and she was honored that she’d been allowed to see this.

—

They said their goodbyes before six, neither of them fully awake. Dani didn’t want to leave Stella, but she knew the most she could give Stella was her comfort zone. She thought she might’ve overstayed, but the way that Stella’s hand lingered on her hip as she rolled out of bed told her otherwise.

“Be kind to yourself, Stella,” Dani murmured, leaning in for one last kiss. No passion, just care, closure. The other woman had taught her so much, and she was sure Stella knew it. She was grateful for her intuition, because she couldn’t find it in herself to voice it.

“You’ve always looked out for me, Dani,” Stella replied, voice just as low. “Take care.”

—

Dani was surprised to see Stella at the station, but it didn’t feel right to not say goodbye, even though they’d already bid each other farewell. The intimacy of last night was nothing compared to the hug they shared in the middle of the office. Dani felt Stella almost collapse into her, melting into her embrace without reciprocating.

Belfast wasn’t kind to Stella, and it showed on her face, a tiredness that wouldn’t ever go away. Dani wondered if she was looking into her future, or if she was reading a cautionary tale.

Stella left without another word, and Dani sunk into her chair. Everyone around her was busy packing up, ready to move archives to the PSNI basement and move on with their lives, but she couldn’t help but take a moment to remember all that Stella gave her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaand that's all she wrote. thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything serious in an age. Feedback is beautiful.


End file.
